Tahki

Theres always a fear of reading some reply... even if its a conversation. Could be of rejection...I don't know. Never did grasp the intricacies of small talk. needless to say, I don't handle people well. Even as I understand human nature, I don't of human beings. I could talk easier with people online (chat) not with actual people. Kind of sad actually, since I've an interest in expanding my views (even as I'm grounded in mine)

I fear of change, of vulgarities of life. yes...out side of immediate family... daily interaction is pretty much like sliding between existence... brief and doesn't really matters. they all want something of you. be it to follow their word (at work...even as their word is iffy), to BE their best bud without actually being a friend themselves (you know all those quotes of walking away from them, when in actuality takes two or more to hold ... never mentioning they are the ones who let go.)

Just existing is a pain.(no worries, I'm not suicidal when I type this...since I'm allergic to pain...explaining my sitch)

count my blessings, | suppose. but if I wasn't here, I wouldn't be needing the counting or anything.

I don't have that many who are active?

 Rules

 1) You must post these rules.

2) Each person has to share 10 facts about themselves.

3) Answer the 10 questions asked by the person who tagged you and make up 10 questions for the 10 you tag.

4) Choose 10 people and put their icons in your journal.

5) Go to their page and inform them that they have been tagged by you.

6) Not something like "You are tagged if you read that". 

7) You have to legitimately tag 10 people.

8) No tag-backs.

9) You can't say that you don't do tags. 

10) You have the choice to make a journal entry! Comments if you prefer!

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think that's all.

(preferably not dead)

seriously, mostly a by the moment, depending on inspiration and motivation or as my altered ego likes to put it <Can't earn a living> type of artist.

I envy those who are able to...

"There's no point in arguing with a fool. onlookers would have problem deciding which is which."

sad to say I seems to have forgotten many a times while being in the forums, religion sector.

show me the MONEY. all other things have no relations whatsoever. I need CONCRETE correlation/ evidence. Why do I even bother?
I don't know. indignation perhaps? My faith is not baseless but based on logic more than I can expressed it seem. I feel and I think. and understanding (with evidence) of human nature...enough if I were God I would be doing this and this.
Actually I can't be bothered with your soul. Just that your short-changing your mind waiting for evidence'. And probably trying to pull others down your path...although you may deny it, saying its open others  to the 'truth'. I say, even the devil has a glib tongue and can also hide behind a veneer of science as he did with certain religion (cults). At the rate your going, your preaching like the faiths you so despise. even if you deny it. I know. 

oh yeah, I've a theory why Christians get bashed all the time...maybe they should learn from other religion and start shedding blood...since they don't appreciate the gentle approach. (i'm excluding those who claim to be but don't seem to use their full set ...or are just a wolf in the fold)

 

of despair, of pain...an overwhelming sorrow...the depts. a darkness where no light of future reaches, nor fuzzy warmth of nostalgia past remembered. the pains of being...you'd want to not be, overcoming overriding fear/ survival instincts to end it.
They say it takes more courage to live than to die...but those moments, to die is a very seductive option...one requires courage, to plunge ahead into the unknown. Sleep does that, without needing the courage, nor having the finality...yet.

because I'm weak, I seek strength
apatheia/ apathy for motivation/ inspiration
what I lack within, I seek without
my own, instead of whims of others