Listening to: voices in my head
Theres always a fear of reading some reply... even if its a conversation. Could be of rejection...I don't know. Never did grasp the intricacies of small talk. needless to say, I don't handle people well. Even as I understand human nature, I don't of human beings. I could talk easier with people online (chat) not with actual people. Kind of sad actually, since I've an interest in expanding my views (even as I'm grounded in mine)
I fear of change, of vulgarities of life. yes...out side of immediate family... daily interaction is pretty much like sliding between existence... brief and doesn't really matters. they all want something of you. be it to follow their word (at work...even as their word is iffy), to BE their best bud without actually being a friend themselves (you know all those quotes of walking away from them, when in actuality takes two or more to hold ... never mentioning they are the ones who let go.)
Just existing is a pain.(no worries, I'm not suicidal when I type this...since I'm allergic to pain...explaining my sitch)
count my blessings, | suppose. but if I wasn't here, I wouldn't be needing the counting or anything.