Btwn personality traits/ preference and mental/ personality disorder

what was accepted as one is now considered the other. looked up what I considered as my major points...turns out i should be holed up in an asylum instead...
aren't they (docs and medical pros who decide/ detail such stuff) too trigger happy labeling what they deem neg traits as diseases? <sure sounds like it)
not everyone can get the hang of lessons life throws at us. we could only practice so much as socializing, navigating though complexity of languages, nunces of the unspoken within our circles before venturing out into the unknown (not that others will tell you what they are, could be their own prefernces too)

fyi, I'd have borderline personality disorder (checked list at wiki). i do think if I think I'm going crazy... Im probably the sanest of the lot, since crazy people seldom think their crazy, right?

update 7/3/13
was told I've a self-hatered vibe. looked it up (wiki-ed) its due in part to low self esteem. I disagree. more likely its a high esteem, of being able to do anything...yet kNoWing your lacking in some intangable aspect, squandering the potiential. Thats my take anyways. I'm troubled...yet don't think I could do anything reversing that. after all, i don't self-harm (including destructive behaviour like binge drink, smoking), indulging whatever i like (as long as it doesn't interfere with stuff on my list like increased in waistline or expenditure)
so no, i don't hate myself. just find it tolerable existance (ennui)